Buckle up for a joyride through the world of equestrian humor, as we dive into a handpicked collection of the best horse racing jokes.
If you’re a fan of the racetrack and love a good laugh, we’ve rounded up an assortment of hilarious horse racing-themed jokes, puns, and one-liners that are certain to tickle your funny bone.
From lighthearted jests about jockeys and horses to witticisms about the racing experience itself, these jokes are perfect for bringing a bit of levity to your day.
Whether you’re looking for a giggle between races or just want to spice up your horse racing conversations, we’ve got you covered.
Classic Horse Racing Jokes
- Have you heard the one about the runaway racehorse? It’s a terrible tale of WHOA!
- What did the racehorse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
- What disease are racehorses most scared of getting? Hay fever
- How do you get a jockey to wait? Tell him to hold his horses
- What kind of medicine do you give a sick racehorse? Cough stirrup
- Why do racehorses look so fit? Because they’re on a stable diet
- Did you hear what happened at the racetrack yesterday? One horse was so slow, they had to pay the jockey overtime.
- What does it mean when you find a horseshoe on the ground? Some poor horse is walking around in socks.
- Some racehorses are hanging out in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 14 races, I’ve won seven of them!” Another horse chimes in: “Well in the last 25 races, I’ve won 18!” “That’s impressive, but in the last 35 races, I’ve won 28!” says another. At this point, the horses notice a greyhound in the stable. “I don’t mean to brag,” says the greyhound, “but in my last 80 races, I’ve won 78 of them!” The horses are clearly amazed. “Wow!” says one, after a hushed silence. “A talking dog!”
Clever Horse Racing Jokes
- What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race? Sherbet
- What kind of bread does a racehorse eat? Thoroughbred
- Why did the owner name his racehorse ‘Bad News’? Because bad news travels fast
- How do you make a small fortune out of horses? Start with a large fortune
- What is one of the hardest times to win a horse race? 12:31, because it is 29 to 1
- What does a racehorse like to eat? Fast food
- Why should you never be rude to a jump jockey? In case he takes offence
- Why did the horse scratch his race last minute? He got colt feet
- Why is it hard to carry a conversation with racehorses? They don’t stand around furlong!
- Why was the racehorse feeling so stressed? He was saddled with responsibility!
- What song do racehorses like to listen to? Watch me whip…watch me neigh, neigh!
- When do vampires like watching a horse race? When it is neck to neck
- What does a racehorse like to drink after winning a race? Chardoneigh
One-Line Horse Racing Jokes
- I bet on a horse to come in 25 to 1, and it did! The only problem is that all the other horses left at 12:30.
- A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. “Will I be able to race this horse again?” The vet replies: “Of course you will, and you’ll probably win!”
- ‘One-One’ was a racehorse. ‘One-Two’ was one too. One-One won one race, and One-Two won one too.
- It would have been a photo finish, but by the time my horse finished the race, it was too dark to take a picture.
- My horse was going to enter the Kentucky Derby tomorrow but he came down with a cold and is feeling a little hoarse.
- I was going to bet on “Itchyfanny” at the races, but he’s been scratched!!
- I bet on a horse with excellent breeding. After the horse left the starting gate, he paused to close it behind him.
- The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the race.
The post 30 Best Horse Racing Jokes That Are a Runaway Hit appeared first on Horsey Hooves.